he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I need to calm my uterus...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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