so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
