oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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