whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
