really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
