first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
