Sponge bath it is.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
