It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize