false alarm. still invincible.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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