my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize