Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
