..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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