my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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