I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize