Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
