I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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