your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
