i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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