Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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