I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
