my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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