he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
