so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
