Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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