alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
