Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
