She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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