I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize