White coat. Heels.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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