Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Dick very happy bro
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
