just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
