My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
