So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize