A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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