What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize