I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
