i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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