she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
my liver is dry heaving
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
