During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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