I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
