I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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