Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
