I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
