New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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