I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
