he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
