ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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