we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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