I want to stick my p in your. b.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I need a burrito and a hug.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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