Pants 0. Shit 1.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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