So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
