So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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