The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
