Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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