Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
