yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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