so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
