at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize