porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
