I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
