did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
