very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
