Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
