I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
