everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
