Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
