I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she was so not down for the gang bang
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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